Leadership communication - how to speak well?

Communication is a fundamental social/societal phenomenon. It is the first skill we acquire as children. However, the our communication as we grow up - in a sense -  unfortunately ruined: we can't find the right words, we are afraid to put our feelings into words for fear of creating controversy. For example, when we went to school we were scolded, embarrassed by a teacher or a student in front of others - and it is so deeply embedded in our memories that the trace/sea/scar remains there into adulthood. That's why you get the he-ha-ha, the moaning, or even the sweaty palms when you have to speak in front of an audience.
But human relationships and relations are realised through communication, which involves the exchange of information.

A the communication process consists of communication and reception, whose an important element of feedback (feed back). During the interactions, the communicator receives feedback from the receiver in the form of different reactions, such as nodding, smiling. This feedback shapes and shapes the further communication: it can move it forward, but it can also hold it back. This is also the disadvantage of mass communication: there is no possibility for feedback.

By leader, I don't just mean company directors, but for all individuals who are able to lead, direct or steer their own lives in a positive direction. From my point of view, almost anyone can be a leader, from beautician to teacher to business owner, if they have the communication skills, the tools and can put them into practice.

The communication of the average person and the communication of a leader is very different!

Leadership communication uses verbal, non-verbal and metacommunication tools like the most loving head of the family, be it mother or father. In other words, it helps, supports and encourages. He does this with words and supporting, reinforcing gestures.

Leadership communication is assertive, non-violent, empathetic, fluid, dynamic, and enjoyed equally by both actors, the host and the listener.

If you master and put into practice the non-violent communicationt - according to Dr Marshall Rosenberg's method, you will be in contact with your colleagues, your business partners, your suppliers, more broadly with everyone you have contact with or come into contact with. honest, understanding, conflict-free interactionyou're building. "Mature" communication is a possible transform conflicts into peaceful dialogue. In this way, your relationships (family, friends, business associates, colleagues, employees) are seen as charming, and you become a leader who is listened to, accepted and followed.

The pillars of non-violent communication, as Rosenberg puts it

1. Listening - understanding the other person's point of view and feelings. To tell them back whether we have understood them correctly?
2. Expressing our feelings
3. To briefly summarise our needs
4. To convey our request

"The brain is a funny thing. Everything comes from this place, but no one can penetrate the other. That's why you have to communicate. But with each other it's more complicated. We don't always say what we want to say, and there are times when we need to understand confusing messages. Or start from the beginning. But however difficult it is, and however many misunderstandings there are, it is our duty to clarify. Because we are the ones who teach people how to treat us. Which means that the responsibility to communicate does not rest on the shoulders of others. It is ours."

The Man in the Tree - Sara Rattaro

A a good leader is aware of his or her own values and areas for improvement. His self-image is mature, self-awareness, self-confidence and self-esteem in harmony with themselves. The leader guides, encourages and motivates his subordinates like a mother to a child. In this way, she supports her colleagues on the right path of self-awareness and develops their self-esteem.

Based on my experience so far, I have come to the conclusion that becoming a leader, communicating as a leader is a learning process, and no amount of communication training will solve it if you don't have a deep self-awareness, a good self-esteem, a rock-solid self-image. 

I think that only a small part of the population has the above. I myself am well on the way, hopefully towards the end. I know from experience that it is an incomparable feeling when we think we have found the way and, if we are well prepared for a speech, we are able to get our thoughts across; as when we are able to give a speech with a good the "words" flow like waves of the sea, without being memorised.

So far, I have only hinted at it between the lines, but now I would like to point out that, like all skills and abilities, the effective leadership communication is also based on good self-awareness. From self-awareness and personality balance. We can only communicate well and attract others if we are aware of our own personality, our "hidden values". This is why I support this area in all my work in the first place, as I believe that this is where most of the problems lie. Until this balance is found here, there can be minor - major ups and downs in many areas of life. Of course self-awareness is not a miracle methodthat solves all the problems of the individual in a matter of days, but points you in the right direction and the right methodsto make it easier and faster to reach the finish line.