Is fear lovable?!? - Part II

You can read part 2 of my article on fears. My pedagogical and teaching practice has been - and still is - to repeat the previous material, to consolidate it, and to add to it. It is in this spirit that the second part of the article "Fear is Loveable" was written.

Why do I use this method?

In my experience, information cannot be digested and put into practice at the same time.
That's why you can see and read repeated passages, as well as new knowledge.

It's only the unknown you fear. But he who confronts it is no longer unknown.
Antoine de Saint Exupéry

My aim with the first part of this 2-part article on fear was to Recognise by my writing in the your fears from different aspects. 
With this, the extended second part, as I wrote above, I want to deepen your knowledge.

The many faces of fear are known to all.
Dr. D.Hawkins

Everyone has experienced anxiety, worry, unpleasant stage fright, or panic at some point in their lives. Have you ever been scared by something, even as a child?

Let's start with simple everyday things that are underpinned by fear.

What is behind FEELING as a feeling?

But before we get ahead of ourselves, clarify the concept and some of its causes.

What triggers fear?

The natural mechanisms of fear have helped us survive for millions of years, but even such a natural feeling can turn into something strange and unusual," says neuropsychologist Philippe Goldin.

Everyone has different fears, just as some people are afraid of mice and others of spiders.

One thing is certain, however, that the stress that can result from the daily "rush" is a stress factor, and behind the hustle, bustle, rush, rush in most cases there is some fear .

In the chaotic world of their days, we are all in such a rush, each for something different. 

• worker to the bus to get to work on time
• the child to get to school
• speeding down the road to be right on time for an event or meeting
• the entrepreneur, so as not to fall behind his competitors, on profits
• the leader strives to be a good leader
• the bounty hunter runs after the candidate
• Mr is trying to meet his leader to the death
• the teacher tries to comply with the rules, parents
• a man goes to the gym to maintain his masculinity
• the employee strives for performance
• the parent is in a hurry to meet school requirements
• teens are in a hurry to be accepted by their peers, their adult environment

and the list goes on.

As you can see from the list above, there are many "ordinary" things that cause us to fear if they do not happen or if they do. Some people are afraid in more than one area, while others are afraid of fewer stimuli. But it is in everyone!

What are you afraid of??

Before you read any further, give yourself a few minutes to think about it your specific, your specific fears. From the most apropos to the largest.

I will help with some examples of my own

As I write these lines, I fear that I am not emphasizing strongly enough that everyone needs a helper who can point out the essence of their fears, which is beyond the surface.
I also worry about whether the reader will wait until they have severe physical symptoms, or whether they will notice the slightest sign to take action, to take a step to alleviate or even banish their fears.
My most temporal anxiety, which is more of an unpleasant tension, is the shortage of time, because I gave myself a deadline for when I should write the article.

But back to the fears for your life!

How do we recognise fear?

The easiest way to fear of the outside, such as being afraid of spiders. This is the level that would not make me rush to a coach or a psychologist or any kind of helper SOS. 

If a fear becomes persistent, frequent, or ongoing you may already need an external eye, a mirror. I am afraid of not having a job, no income and not being able to support my family - yes, these are the "fears" that underlie an emotion that is worthy of a competent professional, a SEARCHER.
A inner/subconscious fear have been much more complex, more complicated. This is what sickens our body, our soul, our hearts can "close up". Our muscles also tense, our blood circulation does not work properly, ultimately only the brain works rationally, based on logic. The hemisphere of the brain responsible for creative function is not functioning or is functioning poorly. This is what happens when we have no ideas or don't know what to do next.

But let's look at the medicine to support it!

Frequent or constant anxiety, fear negatively affects the functioning of the body, ultimately sickens - even repressed fears.
According to Dr. Péter Lakatos, Professor at the Department of Internal Medicine, Semmelweis University, the stress increases the hormone cortisol in addition to adrenaline, activates the body's resources to cope, while at the same time the immune system starts to weaken. This is essential for survival, but if it becomes persistent, the adrenal gland will eventually be unable to produce enough cortisol, with serious health risks.

And what do I say - as a helper - against fear?

Fear is now a widespread disease in our society. Fear of fear is not uncommon.

Going back to the title, "we love fear" is a big help, and the first is recognition. We love fear because it signals to us our body - better than any AL, artificial intelligence. Our computer is more intelligent. A signal for us to recognize anyway, what we need to deal with when we do not know the signals.

Faces of fear, from the seemingly insignificant to the most intense: worry, excitement, stage fright, anxiety, paralysis, numbness, fear, fright, uncertainty, suspicion, feeling trapped, stress, paranoia.

What should you notice about yourself?

It is useful to address the source of the fear and its resolution if, for example, you are experiencing frequent, persistent and disturbing symptoms : (persistent sweating, skin lesions, intestinal or stomach problems, blood pressure fluctuations, insomnia, sleep problems...).

I often worry if I don't hear from a close relative, or if my spouse or child doesn't come home on time...I always think of something bad, that something has happened to them..

How do I come to the realization of what I am afraid of, what I am chewing on?

I start to dissect, to analyse myself.

• What feeling is hidden in reality?
• Am I afraid that he will cheat on me, or that I will be alone...?

In my experience, our fears are commonplace, they have both positive and negative aspects. If there is negative stress, we have to deal with it. If it provides momentum or insight, then we are on the right track, at least for now.

We love our fears - whatever face they present - because they have something to teach us.

We have seen that Dr. Péter Lakatos, Professor at the Department of Internal Medicine I of Semmelweis University, also believes that ultimately the weakening of the immune system is one of the most mild pathologies from a medical point of view, and we can also understand the impact that spoken external fear and unspoken internal fear can have on our health.

In my experience, the "face our fears", does not mean that we immediately turn to a doctor or medicine, but that we turn our attention inwards. If this doesn't work, because for years I didn't understand what it meant, and it was very difficult to master the technique, then we should ask for help.

-But I'm afraid to ask for help...

-Oh, it's nothing, I'll fix it..I've read so many success books..I know, I've got the recipe

-The main thing is to work a lot, to figure out the right sales or marketing strategy..

And the mind starts the rationalization mentioned above, explaining why we should not, why we should run away or just ignore it, the old mind, the ego, speaks up or even out, and we are well distracted by the thoughts..

But you can only see well with your heart...says the little prince.

We tend to fake one thing and another if we don't recognise that we have courage within us, and that our feigned actions are just fear-mongering manoeuvres.

Yes there is a fear source also, many of which are not aware of, these are the defensive tools that we use consciously and unconsciously.

My other favourite is when someone is pushy or risk seeking. An example is the extreme athlete who muscles their body but doesn't massage their soul.

Step 3 is processing, using the technique of letting go

I think there are few facilitators, coaches - or whatever they call themselves - who can tell you exactly when you've overcome your negative fears. But then again, even I may not be at the level of knowledge to be able to tell someone.
My own experience is that sometimes 2 weeks is enough, but often it can take 5, 10 years for a complete remission.

All human souls are can process the source of fear at its own pacedepending on how deep you are in the matter at hand. 

Let's take another example, like the fear of public speaking, public manifestation!

I can get a thrill out of every single public performance, but in extreme cases, when I have to perform in front of a crowd, in front of people I know or don't know, I want to run away, often wondering when it will be over...

They say in presentation training that you can learn the technique, practice makes perfect. The technique can be learned, no doubt, but the fear remains. This is exactly what happened to me until I realised from my own experience what the root of my problem was.

Let's just jump back a few years, when I was wondering and researching..

1. What happens when I manifest myself, when I speak in front of a community, in front of people?
2. What reactions can it provoke from the audience?
3. Like or criticise?
4. What does the mind say when we receive criticism?
5. Maybe you're not good enough, or not likeable enough?
6. What am I really afraid of?

As an educator I was not afraid of my performance in the first place, not even of my knowledge that it was bullshit - exactly when I was going to Toastmasters and getting criticism and signs if I stopped or flushed... yes an old memory from my school days snapped... I was afraid again...
There are some pioneers who claim that the best therapy is to relive your fears... it may be good to experience fear again, but not alone!!
The human soul is more complex than any artificial intelligence, the human mind is an inimitable computer.

When I went to another DC. presentation training, I was approached from a different angle. We started with what was good. There is no way they solved my presenter's dilemma, but they helped me accept it, gave me a way to get to the real problem.

It was up to me whether or not I put my pride aside, whether or not to ask for help... Would you?

Tips that can help you manage fear

It is a fallacy to believe that fear will just go away. It's just like stepping on concrete before it dries: your foot doesn't stay there, but your footprint does.

We all have the treasure of courage, we can be like the rocks in the bays of the sea, which have been battered and whipped by the waves for years, decades, centuries, but still remain in place. The point is to withstand the waves. To remain at the centre of yourself.

Which can help:

1. recognise what makes you feel insecure
2. finding the source of fear through self-analysis
3. live and transform negative fear, if we have an impact on it
4. letting go, coming to peace with ourselves, and turning inward and outward with love
5. learn life-saving phrases, affirmations.

What is most important is that affirmations are constantly needed, as well as acceptance of others, other views. Peace from the inside out is essential to progress, don't stop, take time for yourself at least 1 time a week, min 20 minutes.

You can afford that much, can't you? You love yourself for at least 20 minutes, don't you? 

If not, there's nothing wrong with that either, pluck up your courage and find a supportive partner (coach, field guide, psychologist etc.. ), but if you're still resistant to these, simply try herbal pure essences (bach flower, chakra, harmony tea blends), massage, sauna and music to calm you down.

What I wanted to convey with the above examples - and I hope you have deduced it - is that it is not the technique that solves your problem, that can only help, but the right knowledge of yourself, your introspection, when you are silent while you listen to yourself and shut out all outside influences and thoughts.

One of my clients succeeded with such a small change that she started reading books that I recommended to her, 5 minutes a day. I'm grateful that he was able to change his old habits.

Finally, just a word of advice to all behind the problem or dilemma there is also a negative feeling, which may be a feeling of fear.

I wish you a good day,
Titanilla

p.s.: scroll down to find my other articles on this topic