The importance of communication in our lives

No one disputes the importance of communication in our lives, but I think we don't put enough emphasis on honing this skill.
Perhaps we would reflect a little if we knew that our communication has a big impact not only on our own lives, but also on the lives of our children, colleagues and the world around us. Specifically, by copying us parents as children. For good and for bad. Or by our immediate colleagues communicating with us as we communicate with them.
And where does our communication pattern come from? From our parents, of course, and then from our teachers, and so on through people who have had a big influence on us growing up. 

Communication is a fundamental social/societal phenomenon. We distinguish between verbal communication (e.g. verbal response) and non-verbal communication (such as body language). 

It's the first skill we acquire as children. However, as we grow up, our communication - in a sense - unfortunately deteriorates: we can't find the right words: "what/how should I say?", we are afraid to put our feelings into words: "how should I tell you?", for fear of generating controversy. 

I now know that all professional training must be preceded by personal development, self-reflection and self-awareness.

Everyone is afraid of change, and navigating unfamiliar waters can be scary, but it is the only REAL chance we have to communicate in a way that is self-identical and peaceful.

In short: what is the main importance of communication?

It is simply that it gives us the opportunity to make our lives better. Human relations and relationships are realised through communication, which is the exchange of information.

The importance of communication from a scientific perspective

Books in all quantities

My curiosity never let me rest, I began to analyse, to dive deep into human thoughts, attitudes and why, and I dug deeper and deeper into the mysteries. For almost 10 years I have been devouring scientific books on human behaviour, such as Dr David Hawkins, Susan Forward, Bert Hellinger, Dan Millman, Marshall Rosenberg... I draw the essence of their scientific research, draw the conclusions and then, with a pinch of intuition, develop my communication from them. 

Trainings and trainers

The next treasure I found was the non-violent communication training, a wonderful journey to myself and thereby connecting with others. The trainer and my relationships seemed to remind me that it is not enough to understand the other, to empathize with the other's situation, but that I must be patient to receive. What is acceptance? There are times when the human heart is locked up in a lock, in a shell, when it would rather cover its ears, not wanting to hear, see or feel, but would rather flee. It is then that silence is important, not what I want to say, but the fact that we are sitting next to each other, creating a feeling of security. I trust the other, accept the situation and, slowly, the closed heart can open. In such cases, storytelling can also be a good way to heal.

When is communication good/helpful and when is it harmful?

Stepping out of our old gut reaction to the consciously connecting, tuning in to the other's feelings and needs, understanding and accepting the other's point of view - this supportive communication. Anything that doesn't work that way - as I'll tell you about - is harmful.

As "fate" would have it, I was able to experience different "roles", which helped me to have supportive communication with my own children, family and relationships. And the journey is not over yet, I am still learning. 

As an educator, I learned what education and child psychology is about in general. Then I found my way into adult society, where I encountered reality when, as a bounty hunter, as an hr, I slipped in and out of the pitfalls of human communication because of my hot-headedness. Then coaching taught me a sense of patience, listening, tuning in to the other, the result of which was meaningful attention. 

I was able to use the coaching questions with my children quite well, they started to realize who they really are, we learned trust and honesty together. Then life threw me further into bigger tasks when I founded an HR community where I got hot and cold, communication conflicts developed.That's when I felt the need to learn non-violent communication in practice.

Characteristics and after-effects of supportive and harmful parent-child communication

The parent supportive feedbacke.g. nodding, smiling shapes and shapes further communication: it can move you forward, encourage you, and thus strengthen your child's self-esteem and self-confidence. However, as research by Emőke Bagdy shows, communication ultimately affects our child's social relationships, even hindering them if there is opposition, criticism or misunderstanding from the environment. Besides, the use of mass communication reinforces further disadvantages in the area of communication, where the conversation is one-way, without even the possibility of 'feedback'.

Harmful communication is something I think everyone has experienced as a child - either in the family or at school, or even in kindergarten.

Do they sound familiar?

• How come the other kid could do it and you couldn't?
• How can you be so lazy, slow, clumsy, clumsy, clumsy, careless, etc.?
• Those who do well receive praise.
• You can only be someone with a good ticket.

It's never too late to change, if we realize that our relationships are often not going in the right direction! 20 years ago I would never have thought that so much depends on self-identical communication.10 years ago I started to realize that it is essential to deal with myself in order to guide my children and to orient them in their careers, because how could I help others if I had not analyzed my own personality development and relationship dynamics? If I do not know the way out of the labyrinth, how can I lead anyone out of it? That's what communication, self-awareness is like. The first step is always to "get to know ourselves, parents, to put things in order". And in doing so, we must not forget that our communication is a pattern that the child carries on involuntarily into adulthood.

What parent doesn't want to see their child happy, what parent doesn't want heartwarming relationships?

How can we tell if there is a disturbance in the communication channels?

Basically, if we perceive a social skills problem in ourselves or our children, our communication channel is blocked.
Some possible "symptoms" to identify:

• feelings of isolation, loneliness
• aggressive behaviour, frequent disputes
• under or overvaluation 
• perfectionism/perfectionism
• perseverance/hard management problems
• negative phenomena related to motivation
• lack of structure, dispersion
• learning, memory problems

It's hard for everyone to face up to any shortcomings, because we want everything to be perfect enough. But giving ourselves comforting explanations doesn't help us or our children.

How can we heal ourselves if we were once miscommunicated?

What can you do today to help your recovery, before you find the right help for you?

Please love yourself enough to give yourself at least 20 minutes of silence every day. Maybe give yourself a candle light and just ponder, "hang your feet".

Remember what you have surely learned: with all its efforts to the child sees the parent as a role model. 

What do I mean? 

We also involuntarily follow, if we were not communicated with as children, that someone becomes withdrawn as an adult, for example. We also "imitate" when quality time spent talking, sharing emotions was lacking... not being able to comment, ask questions to one person or often getting into arguments.

To put it positively, it is also an inherited pattern, if there was listening to each other, understanding, open and honest conversations in the family and friends, then we will find a balanced personality in adulthood, "it's so nice to be with him"- a feeling of peace in our hearts.

I believe that deep in our hearts we long for love, understanding, attention and constructive feedback, and that communication is the way we live our daily lives:

- be it in writing, you are reading my article..

- be it oral, telling someone about what you read... 

- or even just a pleasant smile, a caressing nod of the head, a twinkle in the eye, which we classify as non-verbal communication.

Let's make sure that we have quality moments by communicating how good it is to have laughter and joy in the house with our children, our family and our environment.

I wish you happy minutes!